Friday, January 25, 2013


Well, since it's already the most popular thing I've ever put on the internet, I'll dust this thing off for a bit:
I made this list (with the help of a number of friends on Twitter)... a list of a world where the Presidents of the United States have almost always been bears.
#bearpresidents of the U(r)S(id)A(e)
George Washingbear
Jambavan Adams
Thomas Jeffurscub
James Madourson
James Monroar
John Grizzly Adams
Pandrew Jackson
Martin Van Bruin
William Henry Harriscub* (put down in 30 days)
John Ailuropod
James Kodiak Polk
Zachary Baylor "Tip a Canoe" (noted river ambusher)
Millard Killmore
Franklin Pierces-With-Claws
James Bearcannon (experimentally weaponized during Civil War buildup)
Abearham Lincoln
Pandrew Johnson
Ursus S. Grant
Rutherford B. Hayes (guess what the "B" stands for)
James Growlfilled
Chester A. Arktos
Grolar Cleveland
"Gentle" Benjamin Harriscub
Grolar Cleveland (second term)
William McKenai
Theodore "Teddy" Ruxpinvelt
William Howard Taft (only human candidate large enough to fit in bear suit)
Woodroam Killson
Warren G. Hibernating
Calvin the Pooh-lidge
Herbeart Hoover
Franklin D. Ruxpinvelt
Hairy S Trubear
Dwight D. Eisenhoney
John Fitzbearald Kennedy
Ling Ling Baines Johnson
Richard M. Nanuqson
Bearald Ford
Gummi Carter
Bjornald Reagan, "The Great Eradicator"
George Herbeart Walker Bush
Baloo Clinton
George W. Boo-Boosh
Bearack Obama
"Thomas Woodrow Wilson" anagrams to "How t' roam slow in woods."